Meet Gussie: The Spoiled Daughter of Millennial D.I.N.K.s

"I have 10 trophies and and my mom tells me I'm beautiful every day even though I have no front teeth," reveals Gussie in her breakout interview.

By Erica Margaret | November 9, 2025

Queen Gussie guarding these blades of grass.

Homecoming

On a typical morning, Gussie can be found guarding the door, the bed, the garden, the wood pile, and/or any special sewer grate she decides is hers. "It's all mine," Gussie boasts, "and I don't know why my siblings think they can sniff any of it."

Queen Gussie, whose full name is August Clementine Pearl, was adopted from a rescue in Cincinnati after being transported from a farm in North Carolina after her "tramp [fur] mom had too many babies and the authorities got called," explained Gussie. She continues, "but it's okay because my human mommy is a Millennial helicopter mom with no children, so I get biscuits every day. If the vet says I'm too chonky my mom takes me to Starbucks because 'it isn't very nice of the vet to call her little princess chonky.'" Gussie shrugs and takes a lick of the ice cream cone her mom gave her for some reason.

Gussie's human mom drove 8 hours to Ohio to adopt Gussie because she desperately needed a happy distraction to get through virtual learning. Upon arriving home to Virginia, Gussie immediately peed on her new human dad and then slept the night away on her new mom's lap instead of a crate."I was too cute so sleep in a crate," she explains. "With this fluff and these polka dots and these eyes? No. No. No. NOOOOO"

Porter took well to Gussie when she got there, and taught her the rules of the house:

• "We don't like humans."

• "We don't like other dogs"

• "We don't like anyone who blinks too fast"

• "We do not like being blown on."

• "And, for the love of God, we do not like when dad plays the "pinchy finger" game with us.

Gussie doesn't really follow Porter's rules because "Porter is a pain in mommy's ass. I tattle when he's bad and make everyone give me pets and snacks instead."

Gussie cuddling with her brother, who clearly likes it

Education

Ms. Gussie excelled at obedience school, attending Puppy K for her "AKC Star Puppy" class and her "Advanced Puppy" class. She spent most of her time in puppy class eating the snackies the everyone else dropped.

Gussie attended The Animals' House in Sterling, VA for her Canine Good Citizen certification. At that time in her life, Gussie felt "very brave. Except if a stranger looked at me. Then I'd do my special alarm bark that my mom likes so much."

Once Gussie hit adolescence, her mom signed her up for a bunch of clubs to develop and support her interests. Gussie had already expressed zero interest in being a therapy dog (much to her mom's dismay), but Gussie's DNA test revealed that she was 90% herding dog. Her mom found a farm out in Maryland that trains dogs to herd sheep and set up a lesson.

As Gussie tells it: "My mom drove me out to this farm in Maryland and paid 100 dollars to some lady to let me stand in a ring with the sheep. I'm all in the ring like 'Who cares about sheep!? Look at all this delicious poop everywhere! So I ate poop for an hour and I thought herding was the best! thing! ever! but my mom never took me back. She said I could eat poop in my own yard for free." [shrug]

The next hobby Gussie tried was off-leash walking, which ended with her 25 ft training leash wrapped up around a tree. "My mom had me on this like 50-foot leash so I could run around and whatever. My recall was PERFECT-until I saw a squirrel-and then I ran after it while doing my excited opera singer hunting trill. I wanted the whole neighborhood to know I was chasing a a squirrel. I DID NOT recall when my mom called me because I'm not an idiot. My leash finally got stuck on a branch and my mom was able to catch me. Squirrel hunting was super fun but we never tried that again either."

Next, her human mom tried to teach her to run next to a bike "because herding dogs naturally do this," according to Reddit, but Gussie kept nipping her so Mom figured Gussie didn't actually like biking. Mom is still on the hunt for Gussie's next fulfilling educational opportunity, but feels it may ultimately be biking after checking out some of the "how-to" videos at PetesAdventurePack.com.

Gussie basking.

Daily Life

Gussie's daily like is just like every other normal dog. Gussie says that "every morning we go hunting in the neighborhood and then I clobber my sibs in the backyard. Later, I play fetch in the yard with my aunt."

During the day she takes her "inner beauty nap," does another neighborhood hunt in the afternoon, and clobbers her siblings some more in the yard: "They love it," Gussie enthused.

"We hate it," her sibs reported anonymously due to concerns for their safety.

Also, "I eat a lot of snackies throughout the day," Gussie mused. "I LOVE SNACKIES." Then she jumped on my chest and growled "I will do almost ANYTHING for snackies."

At night, Gussie runs around the yard makes sure no rodents get near the garden. "If a mouse even THINKS about stepping in the yard, I will OPERA YODEL and then murder the shit out of the mousie. I get fluffy just thinking about it."

Problems

Gussie has a bit of Mastiff, Rottweiler, and German Shepherd in her, which means she guards everything in the house. "Everything the light touches is mine," states Gussie, quoting her favorite line from Lion King. "Every bone, every blanket, every ball, every squirrel. Every doorway. Every sewer drain. Mine. (And by "mine" I mean, my mom's--because every time I claim something my mom says 'AND JUST! WHO! DO! YOU! THINK! YOU! ARE! GO TO YOUR PLAYPEN. I'M TAKING THIS!' and puts me in my playpen...and steals my Special Object.... but," Gussie lowers her voice here, "I still don't let the sibs get anything-ever- if my mommy or daddy aren't looking," Gussie whispered.

A picture from Gussie's Breed Reveal

On Beauty

"Not everyone can have a fluffy tail, missing teeth, polka dots, and a perfectly oval-shaped bod.," Gussie says. "My mom tells me every day that I am the most beautiful shepherd in the whole world." But Gussie has to work hard for her looks. Her beauty routine consists of trying not to get peed on by Porter in the mornings, knocking out her own teeth by playing too hard with Cheeze, rolling in dust and loose dirt where ever she can find it, and wiggling uncontrollably when her mom tries to furminate her.

Gussie missing her two front teeth

Goals for the Future

In the future, Gussie hopes to catch a chipmunk in the garden, dig a very deep hole to China, and hike and cuddle more with her human parents.

Her mom hopes that Gussie will learn to bike with her, possibly walk off-leash one day, and bully her siblings a less. "Not a chance," Gussie interjects with sweet, wide open eyes while eating yet more ice cream and stealing whatever toy Mabel was nicely playing with: "I'm the queen of the Fairfax part of Falls Church."